Saturday, 29 October 2016

Crushed? You might want to see this




Growing up from my teenage years, I had crushes and I will tell you that it was not easy dealing with it. Somehow, I managed to get over this crushes that when I look back, I can only smile at my success in this area.
Having a crush is not a bad thing of itself but being able to keep it under control sure matters. Most times, you realize that these crushes are just a mere distraction that keeps you from getting the actual substance in relationships

3 things you will need to do when you have a crush are:

-Relax:
Having a crush is not abnormal. You are only human and in being human is the need to like, love and admire other people when you see someone who has traits, looks physique etc. you like. As humans, we have the need to express a need to express emotions and feelings that are part of you. Panicking over it does not help rather see it as normal.

-Identify the Whys:
Next you will need to identify the whys. You need to sit and think of reasons why you have a crush on the person in question. This varies from looks, physique, intelligence, voice, charisma, values amongst other things. At times you might be able to identify reason(s) and in some cases you might not identify any reason. In either situation, there is no reason for panic or alarm. When you know the reason why, there are better chances that you can deal with it better than when you do not know.

- Assess the situation:
Having identified possible reasons for the crush, you now assess the situation thus:
a)      Where is this crush likely to lead? 
b)      Do you feel it’s worth your time to pining over someone that might never notice you or even consider you on those terms?
c)       Are those reasons you identified actually genuine
What your values are will determine whether you want to move on or if you are going to stay like that.
Having a crush can be the most painful feeling one might feel because you are alone in this. If the other party feels the same way is something you might never know and most times, its only in films that the feeling happens to be mutual and both parties get to express their feelings.


A crush needs to be handled properly so that it does not go out of control. The following are things that could help get over a crush
a)      Accept it, suppressing it only complicates it further and that is the last thing you want
b)      If it’s someone you see regularly (daily), minimize your exposure to the person. This goes a long way in reducing the feelings and before you know it, you have overcome it
c)       Engage the person in discussions that are constructive. This helps you form a basis on the person character which you might not be able to if you just look from afar. Once you have formed a judgment on this, you know better and you can move on easily
d)      Stay busy:  This could be hanging out with your friends, shopping or learning a new skill. This keeps your mind occupied and not to dwell on it.
These are my thoughts and you could add your comments on what you feel.

Regards.





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