“Nothing has any meaning except the meaning you give to it” Source Unknown
In life we give excuses on why we have not been able to achieve what we want, we give excuses on why we scored low on an assessment, give excuses on why we are where we are and so on.
But we do not give ourselves excuses on why we achieved somethings, why we passed while some failed. Most times, more often than not, we use excuses to justify our present situations, predicaments amongst others. While we are quick to give excuses to justify negatives, I realized that another way to use excuses would be use them for positives instead especially when we are still struggling with making firm decisions.
How do you mean? You may ask. Below are some ways you could:
Ø Weight Loss:
You are overweight and you know that this is not healthy for you. So you are trying to shed the excess fat. On your weight loss journey, you have managed to shed 10 kg in your first one month and this result warms your heart with delight and you cannot wait to shed more. You are feeling good about yourself. What’s more, everyone has started complimenting you that you look good. Suddenly, you have a relapse and you add more than the 10kg you had shed initially. How exactly this happened you cannot explain. As it would seem, you binged without knowing and this contributed largely to you adding more than before. So, next time the urge to binge comes to you. Give yourself a good excuse on why you should not take that chocolate, extra portion of the food, that fizzy drink or whatever it might be. You could say, I cannot take the extra portions because this extra weight is causing me more pain than gain in terms of opportunities I can’t take up, dresses I can’t wear, places I cannot go due to self esteem issues, not being able to do fun stuffs with friends, family e.t.c
Ø Taking Action:
Doing brings clarity and in doing you know whether you should be charting a particular course in your life or not. But you give yourself excuses on why you cannot take action. You say things like I do not have money to take this course, I cannot afford this program, its too expensive e.t.c . A good way will be to give yourself excuses as to why you should be doing the course and what not doing it could cost me. I could say if I do not do this, I will continue to be in difficult situations without good choices. And if I really cannot afford it at the time, I will start with what I have and plan towards it for the future and not just give excuses on why I cannot do it.
You are not where you felt you would be presently in life. You do not feel fulfilled and you have all the excuses to justify why you are not progressing (if I went to a good school, I would be better off, if my parents were richer, I would be more exposed and so on). A better way is to give yourself excuses on why need to be fulfilled regardless of the circumstances. You could search on what you that could do that will bring the fulfillment that your job, marriage and finances are not providing. You might have studied and gotten a good grade, you might have waited and taken your time before getting married but that not necessarily mean that it will bring you the fulfillment you seek. So what the key is to start searching for things that would bring me fulfillment because nothing is worse than living an unfulfilled life.
Ø Interpersonal Relationships:
We are bound to relate with other people in our lives. We meet people of different personalities. Some people are so easy to relate with while some are not. Some find it easy to make friends while some do not. For someone who does not have a good interpersonal relationship with others you could give excuses on why you aren’t able to do so and feel good but another way to would be excuses on why you need to relate with people better because relationship are key to making it in life. If I don’t relate well with other people how would I learn, how would I connect with people who can guide me because they have more experience than I do.
The points above are but a few ways I thought to share. You will be amazed at the empowered state you will be in when you give yourself these kinds of excuses but then it is important to move beyond this stage when the self- will becomes stronger.